Reason #542 why I LOVE my Midwife

I had my annual well-woman exam about three weeks ago with my midwife - the one that is a CNM.  I absolutely LOVE her.  All three of the ladies at the birth center are strong Christian women, who encourage my faith every time I am around them.  I think it was 100% in God's plan that I found them - and then through them found our pediatrician who is absolutely phenomenal in all the same ways).

I was telling her about my cycle and how it has been off over the past few months with late ovulation, short luteal phases and no cervical fluid.  She attributed most of it to nursing, and gave me a few ideas of supplements that could help without weaning.  

The actual exam was about 10-15 minutes, but I was there for at least an hour.  It is such a personal relationship that is developed over pregnancy using midwifery care, that now when I go in for my annual appointment, we also enjoy each other's company and catch up with each other.  She told me about her grandkids and what they, along with her kids are up to.  I filled her in on us, and The Architect's crazy travel schedule and how great things are going at home and as a family.  I told her that we are ready and trying for a second baby, but between preventing for a while bc of an upcoming trip, my cycle being off, the yeastie beasties that I struggled with for so long, and The Architect's travel schedule, it just hasn't happened yet.  And I told her my conflicting thoughts: fear of it not ever happening, and also both of us aren't getting any younger, but then I also told her that I have been completely okay with it not happening yet, because I am terrified of how to do a newborn with a toddler!  

She told me that I am scared and can't fathom how to handle that situation, because God only gives us tools only when we need them.  And since I'm not in that situation yet, I don't have those tools, because I don't need them.  She told me about Corrie Ten Boom and in her book The Hiding Place, her father wouldn't give her her train ticket until right when they were boarding the train, and how God is the same way.  He only gives us things when we NEED them.  

It was such a beautiful conversation and analogy that I left with such peace over the possibility of getting pregnant and facing that situation of the newborn days PLUS a three year old.  

And I had no idea at the time, that probably on that exact day, was the day we got pregnant.